Fish
Going fishing this weekend. I'll be somewhere down in Virginia, if I understand the plans. I decided to join the expedition a few weeks ago and confess that I didn't really pay much attention to the details--all I needed to know then was that the fishing would occur after Defense Day, so I'd either be free and happy or free and bitter. Free, either way. And someone else is driving. I'm to bring a sleeping bag.
I'm not a strong fisherman. (Come to think of it, given my new status as Officially Overeducated Liberal, I should probablyuse employ utilize obscuring synonyms and pretentious gibberish whenever possible.) I have but a passing acquaintance with the sport of angling.
For example, I'm pretty sure I've never caught a fish. And I'm definitely sure I've never caught a memorable fish. I once dragged--seriously--a "tin" can out of a lake while fishing. That was at the Monroe Reservoir ("The largest man-made something-or-another this side of something-or-another") when I was a kid. I forget what bait I was using, but it was likely something simple like worms. This was the same day I saw a sign at one of the bait shops you pass driving down to the Causeway: "Used Firewood."
Alas, I have yet to catch a boot while fishing. The tin can has cliche value (and some comic value), but the heart of fishing comedy is the boot. Or maybe it's that part in Fishing with John when John and Willem freeze [SPOILER ALERT!] to death. Maybe I'll catch a boot this weekend. With a license plate jammed down inside it. It must've come up the gulf stream from warmer waters down south. Something like that--once I've caught a boot, the jokes will write themselves.
Assuming, reasonably, that we end up fishing with shotguns--I promise to do all I can to maintain the Speaking as a scientist, etc. safety record. Which reminds me, I need to update the About page.
I'm not a strong fisherman. (Come to think of it, given my new status as Officially Overeducated Liberal, I should probably
For example, I'm pretty sure I've never caught a fish. And I'm definitely sure I've never caught a memorable fish. I once dragged--seriously--a "tin" can out of a lake while fishing. That was at the Monroe Reservoir ("The largest man-made something-or-another this side of something-or-another") when I was a kid. I forget what bait I was using, but it was likely something simple like worms. This was the same day I saw a sign at one of the bait shops you pass driving down to the Causeway: "Used Firewood."
Alas, I have yet to catch a boot while fishing. The tin can has cliche value (and some comic value), but the heart of fishing comedy is the boot. Or maybe it's that part in Fishing with John when John and Willem freeze [SPOILER ALERT!] to death. Maybe I'll catch a boot this weekend. With a license plate jammed down inside it. It must've come up the gulf stream from warmer waters down south. Something like that--once I've caught a boot, the jokes will write themselves.
Assuming, reasonably, that we end up fishing with shotguns--I promise to do all I can to maintain the Speaking as a scientist, etc. safety record. Which reminds me, I need to update the About page.
2 Comments:
I look forward to hearing of the special particularities of your fishing expedition.
"...I stared and stared
and victory filled up
the little rented boat,
from the pool of bilge
where oil had spread a rainbow
around the rusted engine
to the bailer rusted orange,
the sun-cracked thwarts,
the oarlocks on their strings,
the gunnels — until everything
was rainbow, rainbow, rainbow!
And I let the fish go."
--Elizabeth Bishop, from "The Fish"
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Speaking as a scientist, etc.